Always and Forever
by Arianna555
Summary: This is Dean's, Rory's, and Jess' thoughts in different times and situations. It's sort of RoryDean, sort of RoryJess...but not actually either. More is finally up. Please read and review!
1. Dean's POV

Always and Forever  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or anything in Gilmore Girls, just this story.  
  
Summary: Dean's thoughts, a while after Rory came up to his window to talk. Sort of Rory/Dean, but nothing bad about Jess  
  
A/N: I'm a big Rory/Dean person, though I know not that many people are. I got this idea the other day, so.I'm new in this section of the site, so if somebody has done this before, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to copy you! Please review, I'll really appreciate it. Hope you like it. ~Arianna  
  
  
  
Rory came up to my window. She climbed a tree to come talk to me, and for a second when I saw her, I hoped she'd come to tell me she was sorry, and she wasn't with Jess, and I'd been wrong at the dance. But she didn't.  
  
She started talking about all the things I'd done with her, and I told her I didn't need the list. But I remembered all those things, and I missed them. I wished I could go back in time to the Chilton formal I went to with Rory when she asked me if I was her boyfriend. And she was so happy that I was. Rory said I was the best boyfriend ever. It meant a lot and I wanted to tell her that she was the best girlfriend ever, but I couldn't. I almost cried.  
  
I asked her if she was with Jess, and she said she didn't want to talk about it. I kind of knew she was, but again I was almost hoping that Rory would say no and that she was sorry, and I could tell her that it was okay.  
  
She was so nice, and I really miss her, and I wish she had never met Jess. He ruined everything. Rory said she hoped I wouldn't hate her someday. I told her I hoped so too. But it wasn't true. I don't hate Rory-I couldn't. I still love her. I was-still am-really hoping that somehow she still likes me, and someday things will be okay with us again.  
  
Even I can see that Jess really, really cares about Rory. He loves her, but not like I do. She'll be okay, at least, I know that.  
  
After Rory left, I did cry, hard. I couldn't help it. Whenever I see her now, especially with Jess, I feel like crying. I almost want to fight Jess, except I don't want Rory to hate me, ever, and right now I know she doesn't. I don't hate her at all, and I wish I'd told her that. I will, I guess, but now I can't. It would hurt too much.  
  
I really think that sometime, someday, things will be okay again. Because I'll always love Rory and I hope more than anything that somehow, she still loves me too.  
  
Rory told me that she really did love me. I do believe it. I wish I had been able to tell her that I loved her too, but then I would have cried and Rory probably would have started crying.  
  
I don't know what to do now, but there has to be something. Rory is the best, and her mom, Lorelai, is really nice, too. I miss her and no matter what, I'll tell Rory this sometime. Even if we can just be friends, I would be okay with that for now. I hope everything will be better sooner instead of later.  
  
And most of all, although I'm sure he won't, I hope Jess doesn't hurt Rory at all, ever. Rory said she was sorry she hurt me, and the truth is, she did. But I am really sorry I hurt her. I didn't want to. I never would. I never will.  
  
Because I love Rory. I would do anything for her, anything at all. I don't really know why she likes Jess so much. I wish she didn't, wish so much she didn't.  
  
Telling Rory at the dance that I wasn't her boyfriend anymore broke my heart. I wish now that I hadn't done it. I went home afterwards and started to cry.  
  
If only I could have been a better perfect boyfriend for Rory. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I really don't. I know one thing. I love Rory. I always will. Forever.  
  
-Dean Forrester 


	2. Rory's POV

Chapter 2- Rory's POV  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in Gilmore Girls.  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope this is better than chapter 1. This one is sort of between Rory/Dean and Rory/Jess, but it isn't actually either, I think. Again, it's Rory's thoughts after she goes to talk to Dean.  
  
When I left Luke's to go meet Jess, I was kind of nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. All I knew was that I liked Jess a lot. Maybe even loved him. I wasn't sure. I came up, and he was holding a cigarette. He was about to smoke it, and then he stopped. He looked like he was thinking about something. I asked him if he was going to smoke it. Jess sort of shook his head. He kissed me. I was so happy right then.  
  
Then I thought of something, and I told Jess I had to go, pulling away. He looked really worried and asked me if he'd done anything wrong. I really knew, then, how much Jess cared about me. And I really did care about him, too. I assured him that I'd loved it.  
  
"Come here," he said. Jess pulled me closer and kissed me again. I let go of Jess after a while and left to go to Dean's-not that Jess knew that.  
  
Climbing up to Dean's window, knowing how much I'd hurt him, was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I knocked softly on his window and tried to smile. Dean looked so upset, just sitting there. It took everything I had not to start crying.  
  
He asked me why I was there. I said, truthfully, that I wanted to apologize. I started talking about everything Dean had done for me. He told me he didn't need the whole list. I realized that this was probably twice as painful for Dean as it was for me. I was more than sorry I had hurt him, and I wished so much that there had been some way I wouldn't have had to. I told him so, told him he was the best boyfriend ever. I saw Dean's eyes fill with tears. Mine did too.  
  
I wanted, more than anything right then, to reach out and hug Dean and start crying and tell him that, somehow, I still loved him. But I couldn't. I told Dean that I really had loved him. The look on his face broke my heart. He asked if I was with Jess. I answered that I didn't want to talk about it.  
  
It was almost too much-for both Dean and I, I knew. I said that I hoped someday Dean wouldn't hate me. He said he hoped so too. But he didn't sound angry. I've never seen Dean that sad. He closed the window, and I left. I cried the entire way home, as quietly as I could. I knew Dean was crying, and I felt awful that it was my fault. Dean was crying because of me. Rory.  
  
I remembered all those times I'd spent with Dean. The Chilton formal, the Debutante Ball, the first time he kissed me. All of it had meant so much to me. And I knew it had meant just as much to Dean.  
  
I hoped Dean believed how much I'd loved him. I knew perfectly well that he had always loved me. He was really wonderful. It was just-I wasn't sure.  
  
When I was with Jess, I was happy, but it hurt too, thinking about how much I hurt Dean. I would never, ever want to, not for anything. No matter how much I liked Jess, no matter how much I knew he liked me, it would never be the same as it was with Dean. I really, really do like Jess, but still.  
  
I know that somehow, I'll always love Dean. Maybe in a different way. I miss him, I know I do, and I don't want to completely lose him, ever. I guess that's hard to do in Stars Hollow.  
  
I hope more than anything that sometime Dean and I can be friends again. I never want to hurt Jess. I already hurt Dean. I'm not going to do it again.  
  
-Rory Gilmore 


	3. Jess' POV

Chapter 3 - Jess' POV  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or anything in Gilmore Girls.  
  
A/N: This is Jess' POV at the same time as Dean's and Rory's were. This chapter starts further back in time, at Sookie's wedding, because not as much happens with Jess on the day Rory and Dean talk as happens to Rory and Dean. (Sorry if that makes no sense, you'll see!) Again, please review and I hope you like it!  
  
That day was really great. I've honestly loved Rory almost ever since I met her. That day at Sookie's wedding-when she kissed me-I was so happy, but really surprised at the same time. And then she ran away, and I wanted to run after her, except she would have hated me if I'd done that.  
  
I waited all summer for her to come back from D.C. I met her accidentally at Doose's market one night, and I knew as soon as I saw her that being-or pretending to be-with Shane was really stupid. Rory was pretty mad at me, and I wanted to tell her how sorry I was. But I didn't. I was actually pretty mean, and Rory left, angrily, as quickly as she could. I didn't know what to do.  
  
And then, at the dance marathon-I kept kissing Shane, and I was watching Rory dance with Dean, Iike I wanted to dance with her, and watching them hurt. A lot. I wanted to cry. Rory kept talking to Dean, and looking at me. I almost jumped up and shoved Dean away from her.  
  
I told Rory to pay attention to her boyfriend and then Dean stepped away from her.  
  
"She can't," he said. "I'm not her boyfriend anymore." Dean started yelling about how she liked me and I liked her. Then he left. He was pretty upset. I admit, I felt almost sorry for him. I know he loves Rory. Rory looked horrified for a second. And then she ran away. Rory, I thought.  
  
I found her at the dock. She was crying. I wanted so much to sit next to her and put my arm around her and let her cry. But I knew she wanted to be alone. If Rory did that (what Dean did to her) to me, I know I would.  
  
I told her that Dean was a jerk.  
  
"No he's not," she said. She said he was right. About everything. About liking me and lying to him. I couldn't say anything. I was so glad to hear it, you have no idea. Then she said that Dean had been right about her, anyway.  
  
'He was right,' I agreed. I asked her if she was broken up with Dean. I was immediately sorry I'd said it. I didn't want to hurt her any more than I knew I already had. But she answered that she had definitely broken up with Dean. I told her there was something I had to do, and I left. I was honestly sorry for Rory. I knew that that felt like.  
  
And then that day after Rory got back from her trip to Yale. She was at Luke's with Lorelai. I said I had to go get a part for my car, knowing that Rory would understand. I leaned against a wall and pulled out a cigarette. I was about to smoke it, and then I thought of Rory. I put it in my pocket instead.  
  
Rory came over and asked me if I was going to smoke it. I kissed her. She told me she was glad I didn't smoke it. I was really glad too. Rory pulled away and told me she had to go. I was scared I'd hurt her again. My eyes filled with tears. I asked Rory if I had done anything wrong. She smiled and quickly said no, that she'd really loved it.  
  
'Come here,' I said. I hugged her and kissed her again, and then she let go of me after a while and left. I was crying, just slightly, but I wasn't exactly sure why. I don't think Rory noticed.  
  
I stayed there for a while, thinking about Rory, and then left, smiling, to go back to Luke's.  
  
I will love Rory forever. I always have.  
  
-Jess Mariano 


	4. Author's Note

Hi everyone! Thanks for all the reviews. I've written 3 more chapters that I'll probably post, but I'm having trouble with my internet connection and can't get to my login very well. I also have a big school paper and am working on a story/essay thing for my application to a highschool I really want to get into, so I'm pretty busy. Sorry for the delay or any inconvenience.  
  
So you know, I'm now sort of a Rory/Jess person (I still like Dean), and I might be writing another story soon; I don't know what it's going to be about, and it won't be up for a week, I'd say, considering the annoying internet on my computer. (  
  
If you liked this story, keep checking back, it will be continued, if not immediately. Please review if you haven't, I'll really appreciate it. If you have any ideas for either a story or new chapters, please email me at jcohen54@yahho.com or AIM me (my IM is jcohen54). Thanks for reading this!  
  
~Arianna 


	5. Dean's POV, Different time

Chapter 4  
  
Dean's POV  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in it, etc.  
  
A/N: I just got this idea.actually, I got it on winter break. Sorry this took so long! Just so everybody knows, this story is not supposed to be either Rory/Jess or Rory/Dean. It's just what I think these characters are thinking in these situations. The reason I'm not doing more Rory POVs is that I read the books, and they're written from her POV, and I don't want to copy. So I'm probably only going to do Rory's POV from late second season and third season. Sorry for such a long A/N, please review!! (This takes place right after Dean and Rory have gotten back together.) ~Arianna  
  
  
  
I was SO glad that Rory and I were back together. It was so stupid that we were fighting. I knew she loved me. But it was great to hear her say it. Anyway, Rory told me that her grandparents were having a special dinner for her that Friday night, and she asked me to come. I did want to, but I wasn't sure-I mean, the last time I met Rory's grandmother was the night of that Chilton dance, which was great, for the most part, but didn't end up very well.  
  
Rory said it would be fun, and she wanted me to meet her grandfather, and I agreed. For Rory. Lorelai, Rory, and I drove to Hartford. When we got there, Mrs. Gilmore asked us what we wanted to drink. Rory and Lorelai started teasing me about wanting a beer. Mrs. Gilmore was really nice about it, and I thought that maybe everything would be okay.  
  
Then we all sat down to have dinner. The first thing Rory's grandfather asked me was where I was planning to go to college. Lorelai interrupted him to tell him to ask me what my favorite baseball team was, or something. I wished he would. But he didn't. So I told him I wasn't sure.  
  
Mr. Gilmore continued staring at me, and asked me what sort of grades I got. I told him, truthfully (of course) that I got a mixture of A's, B's, and C's. He seemed sort of skeptical. I was kind of nervous by this point. I explained that I wasn't great in math. Which I'm not. But Rory is.  
  
He kept asking me questions, including how I was going to make a living after I went to the college I hadn't thought about. I wasn't sure about that either. Mrs. Gilmore kept interrupting to tell him not to grill me, but he didn't listen.  
  
Then he told me that Rory is going to an Ivy League school. I know that. I know how much she wants to go to Harvard, and I would do anything to help her get there. I know she will. And I'm glad. She works hard at everything, and she deserves it, definitely does. I told Mr. Gilmore that Rory is really smart. She's special. Looking angrily at me, he said he knew that. Rory told her grandfather that I was special too.  
  
"Rory." I said. Her grandfather started yelling about how I wasn't good for her. He was talking about me like I wasn't there. And I admit, what he was saying hurt. My eyes filled with tears, but I definitely wasn't going to cry.  
  
Rory jumped up, defending me, yelling at her grandfather about how he couldn't treat me this way. She said that I was incredible and I was special to her. Rory saying that meant a lot to me. And I was still hurt, but not really. It didn't seem to matter so much anymore.  
  
We left. Rory looked pretty upset too. I wanted to tell her that it was okay. I didn't want Rory to be upset over me. When we got back to her house, Lorelai went inside. Rory told me she didn't know what to say. She said that none of what he said was true, none of it meant anything. She asked me not to be upset. I told her I wasn't.  
  
"Dean." she said. Okay, it was sort of slightly a lie. I was kind of upset. But after what Rory said-I wasn't, not so much. I knew that those things weren't true. Not really. Rory loved me and she didn't think that. And she knew I loved her. That was enough. I assured Rory that I wasn't upset, and I kissed her, and then I left. I felt much better.  
  
Rory always makes me feel that way.  
  
-Dean Forrester 


	6. Jess' POV, Different time

Chapter 5  
  
Jess' POV (Different time)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, or anything in it, as you know.  
  
A/N: This is Jess' POV, but it's set further back in time, around when Rory first meets Jess. Again, I hope you like it, and if you have any ideas for whose POV or in which situation I should do, please email me at jcohen54@yahoo.com or AIM me. I just started watching Gilmore Girls this September (and I watch Gilmore Girls beginnings), so I haven't seen many late season one or many season two episodes. I know this chapter isn't as good as the last 4, but it was all I could think of when I wrote it. I hope the next one's better, it's also Jess' POV. (If you've read chapter 4, you know why I'm not doing Rory's.) Also, at the beginning and end of this one, there's some stuff I invented (I haven't actually SEEN the episode. I read the book and the transcript.) So, sorry about the long A/N again, on with the chapter! Oh, and if anyone could tell me how to put italics in the stories so they work, that would be great. ~Arianna  
  
  
  
My mom, Liz, told me I was going to stay with my Uncle Luke in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. I live in New York. Everybody in Stars Hollow could fit in one room, easily, I thought. I wasn't excited.  
  
When I got there, I discovered that there was going to be a sort of welcoming dinner for me at a house in Stars Hollow. It was Lorelai Gilmore's, a good friend of Luke's. Luke owns a diner in the town. Everybody knows him. Well, in Stars Hollow, everybody knows everybody else.  
  
I went in. I wandered into a room and met Lorelai's daughter, Rory Gilmore. I liked her immediately. The shelves were filled with books. My kind of room, but I didn't say that. Rory told me she read a lot and asked if I did. I replied that I didn't read much, and picked up a copy of Howl, one of my favorite books. Rory offered to lend it to me. And I suddenly got an idea. I refused her offer, but I borrowed the book when she wasn't looking, planning to put some notes in the margins for her.  
  
I asked Rory if her windows opened, and she told me they did. So I suggested that she and I leave. Rory laughed and told me there was nowhere to go. She said the 24-hour mini-market had already closed. I wasn't really surprised. I asked her if she wanted to leave anyway. She didn't; said it was going to be fun. Then Rory asked if I wanted a soda, and I told her I would get it. I took a beer out onto the porch, thinking about Rory. I already liked her. But it wasn't unlikely that she had a boyfriend already. Even though I really hoped she didn't. And I wondered if she liked me at all.  
  
Then Lorelai caught me drinking the beer. Surprisingly, she didn't exactly get me in trouble. But I left, and so did Luke, which I know she did get really mad about. I just didn't want to be there anymore. The truth was, it hurt, watching Rory, happy, when she didn't like me. Very uncharacteristic for me. But true.  
  
And after I did what I did, she was probably really mad at me. I know she and her mom are really close. I wanted to cry, except Luke's apartment is so small, he would have heard me. And I definitely didn't want Luke to know 1) that I was crying, 2) that I already cared about Rory Gilmore.  
  
But I couldn't help the fact that I was upset (I'm rarely like this), that I liked Rory a lot, and that-that, although it's hard to admit it for me, I want Rory to like me as much as I like her. I really hope she likes my notes in her book. And maybe I can recommend a book to her. Maybe she can recommend a book to me. And maybe I can at least be her friend.  
  
-Jess Mariano 


End file.
